At the cookouts, the family reunions, hell at any function there is always that one corner. And you know the people in it are having a good time because well, they are drunk.
Absolutely in aww. This is a great piece and I could feel your every word 💜 I know your story but I love to read about your recovery even more! Love you BFF
This couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m in my late 20s and I was just telling my bestfriend how I’ve been struggling with this for a couple years now and I’ll never forget the telling myself “I’ll never stop drinking” because it relieved me from all pains and responsibility, especially when I’m recovering the day after blacking out. But now, I’m seeing so many recovering alcoholics sharing their story at an overwhelming rate and I appreciate posts like this because you guys let me know it’s possible to quit and be free from this addiction. I’m seeking help and finally being honest with my doctors and loved ones about the severity of the situation. Thank you for your courage and words of wisdom.
Thank you so much for your comment. It is possible and that comes from someone who never thought it would be. Here if you ever need someone to talk to.
I drank for 10 years straight after I turned 21.. each year got progressively worse and the WORST when in relationships with narcissistic people 😮💨
Never saw my grandpa without a glass of wine.. my uncle and Mom drink daily..
I'm sober now but the worst part is the social pressure.. I rarely go out but when I do, even at nicer restaurants is always a pressure to get a glass to have conversation over.. literally look at this emojis 👉🏾 🍻✨🥂 like unless you're drinking you're subtly excluded from the social group 🙄 still not worth the health consequences.
Nah, I've drank enough liquor, wine and champagne to know what it tastes like.. I'll enjoy my water with lemon slices thank you, it's called the HEALTH is WEALTH club 😏⛲🧘🏾♀️
mocktails and alcoholic drinks without the alcohol- some are serving grown up drinks without alcohol. I request alcohol free wines. I notice others doing the same. I stock alcohol free drinks at home. My grandfather had his addictions but not to alcohol—I learned his dad was alcohol addicted. His son my father was also addicted and he hated 12 step programs passionately.
I'm the child of two alcoholics, and alcoholism consumes my family. The dysfunction impacts everyone. I luckily swore off alcohol at a fairly early stage--but still shudder at some of the dangerous and destructive moments I got into. One thing that helped me was looking at the genetic and metabolic causes--that we may have a gene that causes our cell membranes to prefer the alcohol to glucose, or our livers to metabolize the alcohol in such a way that we "have an amazing tolerance" until we tip over the edge and become blackout-drunk. I know everything you write is true--the trauma and damage, carried from generation to generation. But it helps me to realize that I might have a metabolic condition that processes alcohol differently. Like diabetes or lactose intolerance or any other condition. It helps me reframe my sobriety, not just as a moral and intentional choice, but as a physical reality, like a peanut allergy. What others can freely imbibe without danger is, to me, a threat of enormous proportions. I haven't had a drink in many decades. It's not a great moral accomplishment--it's just something I know I can't allow safely. My body, my genetics, and yes, my family emotional patterning--are a certain way--not chosen, just there.
Are we alcoholics? Yes, we are! As the neice of someone who died from his addiction at 49 and the daughter of a man who drank excessively for at least 30 years, I thank you for getting sober and openly sharing your story. I hope others will follow in your footsteps. My dad's drink of choice was beer. I think my uncle drank various hard liquors. Alcohol in any form, including wine, can be addictive and we need to admit this. Yes, life is hard, but we need to find other ways to cope.
Thank you so much Danielle for your powerful share.🥹🫶🏾 I am an adult child survivor of an alcoholic father and a long lineage of alcoholism and addictions in my family - on both sides. To see you speak your truth here is powerful and transformative. I had a complicated relationship with my dad.
With much help and love, I worked through my codependence and trauma. I found peace and joy on the other side. I often still struggle to keep my boundaries.🥰
Keep loving your life. You deserve all the love. I'm proud of you! ❤️❤️❤️
Love you Chloe ! And thank you. I am proud of you as well. Often times we don’t celebrate our wins either. To be able to get to the other side is the gift!
Oh this deeply resonated!! I have drug addiction very rampant on both sides of my family , my own father was an alcoholic. Like the writer I too am 8 years sober from alcohol & other substances. To this day I still have living family members who survived the 80’s crack epidemic & some are still active users . From my experience with beating addiction I realize we turned to substances because of not only lack of emotional regulation but as stated in the article having no safe space , time or bandwidth to process the traumas of being black in America. This is why I don’t judge my elders in my family who are still addicts these people grew up in the Deep South during Jim Crow era !! I cannot imagine the horrors they have been through. Ultimately I know my ancestors & some of my living family members have told me how it’s a relief to see that I was able to beat my addiction. I realize me having the means to seek the help & being in a generation that supports mental health support is a PRIVILEGE. I got sober to break the curse in my bloodline I pray that my efforts inspire my younger family members to not be like our elders but learn from their mistakes & give them grace . We live in a time where leisure is possible for black people , REST is the real rebellion because when we can rest & just be it’s no need to run to a substance to help suppress emotions we don’t have time to process .
I ❤️ the transparency of this piece. Although I am not an alcoholic... I damn sure feel this way about food and shopping. As a recovering shopaholic and a current foodaholic I have the same problem as those with alcohol
Yaaaaas Twin. Amazingly vulnerable & transparent words you share. Our community needs this level of bravery & truth telling. Your ancestors are proud. I’m proud! Keep going!
I chose alcohol to cope when in the military and later realized it was a negative cope and stopped. I no longer care for alcohol but I have seen family and friends suffer from it unfortunately. Thank you for this ❤️💯
Danielle, thank you for your willingness to share this. I’m coming up on 10 years myself. The shame is what causes so many to suffer in silence, and look how your truth is already helping so many! Much love. 💙
You curated this beautifully and I love you @blackstack!
Love you Danielle!
Absolutely in aww. This is a great piece and I could feel your every word 💜 I know your story but I love to read about your recovery even more! Love you BFF
This couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m in my late 20s and I was just telling my bestfriend how I’ve been struggling with this for a couple years now and I’ll never forget the telling myself “I’ll never stop drinking” because it relieved me from all pains and responsibility, especially when I’m recovering the day after blacking out. But now, I’m seeing so many recovering alcoholics sharing their story at an overwhelming rate and I appreciate posts like this because you guys let me know it’s possible to quit and be free from this addiction. I’m seeking help and finally being honest with my doctors and loved ones about the severity of the situation. Thank you for your courage and words of wisdom.
Thank you so much for your comment. It is possible and that comes from someone who never thought it would be. Here if you ever need someone to talk to.
I drank for 10 years straight after I turned 21.. each year got progressively worse and the WORST when in relationships with narcissistic people 😮💨
Never saw my grandpa without a glass of wine.. my uncle and Mom drink daily..
I'm sober now but the worst part is the social pressure.. I rarely go out but when I do, even at nicer restaurants is always a pressure to get a glass to have conversation over.. literally look at this emojis 👉🏾 🍻✨🥂 like unless you're drinking you're subtly excluded from the social group 🙄 still not worth the health consequences.
Nah, I've drank enough liquor, wine and champagne to know what it tastes like.. I'll enjoy my water with lemon slices thank you, it's called the HEALTH is WEALTH club 😏⛲🧘🏾♀️
Yes. I buy nonalcoholic “alcohol” or request
mocktails and alcoholic drinks without the alcohol- some are serving grown up drinks without alcohol. I request alcohol free wines. I notice others doing the same. I stock alcohol free drinks at home. My grandfather had his addictions but not to alcohol—I learned his dad was alcohol addicted. His son my father was also addicted and he hated 12 step programs passionately.
I'm the child of two alcoholics, and alcoholism consumes my family. The dysfunction impacts everyone. I luckily swore off alcohol at a fairly early stage--but still shudder at some of the dangerous and destructive moments I got into. One thing that helped me was looking at the genetic and metabolic causes--that we may have a gene that causes our cell membranes to prefer the alcohol to glucose, or our livers to metabolize the alcohol in such a way that we "have an amazing tolerance" until we tip over the edge and become blackout-drunk. I know everything you write is true--the trauma and damage, carried from generation to generation. But it helps me to realize that I might have a metabolic condition that processes alcohol differently. Like diabetes or lactose intolerance or any other condition. It helps me reframe my sobriety, not just as a moral and intentional choice, but as a physical reality, like a peanut allergy. What others can freely imbibe without danger is, to me, a threat of enormous proportions. I haven't had a drink in many decades. It's not a great moral accomplishment--it's just something I know I can't allow safely. My body, my genetics, and yes, my family emotional patterning--are a certain way--not chosen, just there.
Are we alcoholics? Yes, we are! As the neice of someone who died from his addiction at 49 and the daughter of a man who drank excessively for at least 30 years, I thank you for getting sober and openly sharing your story. I hope others will follow in your footsteps. My dad's drink of choice was beer. I think my uncle drank various hard liquors. Alcohol in any form, including wine, can be addictive and we need to admit this. Yes, life is hard, but we need to find other ways to cope.
Thank you I appreciate your words.
Thank you so much Danielle for your powerful share.🥹🫶🏾 I am an adult child survivor of an alcoholic father and a long lineage of alcoholism and addictions in my family - on both sides. To see you speak your truth here is powerful and transformative. I had a complicated relationship with my dad.
With much help and love, I worked through my codependence and trauma. I found peace and joy on the other side. I often still struggle to keep my boundaries.🥰
Keep loving your life. You deserve all the love. I'm proud of you! ❤️❤️❤️
Love you Chloe ! And thank you. I am proud of you as well. Often times we don’t celebrate our wins either. To be able to get to the other side is the gift!
Thank you for this offering Danielle. I am glad you are here.
Oh this deeply resonated!! I have drug addiction very rampant on both sides of my family , my own father was an alcoholic. Like the writer I too am 8 years sober from alcohol & other substances. To this day I still have living family members who survived the 80’s crack epidemic & some are still active users . From my experience with beating addiction I realize we turned to substances because of not only lack of emotional regulation but as stated in the article having no safe space , time or bandwidth to process the traumas of being black in America. This is why I don’t judge my elders in my family who are still addicts these people grew up in the Deep South during Jim Crow era !! I cannot imagine the horrors they have been through. Ultimately I know my ancestors & some of my living family members have told me how it’s a relief to see that I was able to beat my addiction. I realize me having the means to seek the help & being in a generation that supports mental health support is a PRIVILEGE. I got sober to break the curse in my bloodline I pray that my efforts inspire my younger family members to not be like our elders but learn from their mistakes & give them grace . We live in a time where leisure is possible for black people , REST is the real rebellion because when we can rest & just be it’s no need to run to a substance to help suppress emotions we don’t have time to process .
The bottle isn't where I find my vice, its the tree that I can't leave be! Lol
sooo any alcoholics its alarming
didn’t realize until i started being intentional abt avoiding it
I ❤️ the transparency of this piece. Although I am not an alcoholic... I damn sure feel this way about food and shopping. As a recovering shopaholic and a current foodaholic I have the same problem as those with alcohol
Yes addiction destroys
Yaaaaas Twin. Amazingly vulnerable & transparent words you share. Our community needs this level of bravery & truth telling. Your ancestors are proud. I’m proud! Keep going!
Love you twin thank you!!
I chose alcohol to cope when in the military and later realized it was a negative cope and stopped. I no longer care for alcohol but I have seen family and friends suffer from it unfortunately. Thank you for this ❤️💯
wow, this is such a touching and vulnerable piece. this is something we don’t talk about too much in the community. thank you sharing
Danielle, thank you for your willingness to share this. I’m coming up on 10 years myself. The shame is what causes so many to suffer in silence, and look how your truth is already helping so many! Much love. 💙
Thank you Joy! And congrats to you on your journey. ❤️
This is such a poignant and necessary essay. Great reminder as to why I am proud to subscribe to @Blackstack.