Who Will Be The Men?
…and the saxophone began to get louder.
When I first read Landix’s pitch for this piece, the only thing I could think was, “Who is going to be the men?” As much as I tussle with a love-hate relationship with social media, I have to admit we have created some great lines.
This piece is one of those that as you continue to read you realize the saxophones keep getting louder with each word curated into a sentence that will have the ladies nodding in agreement and the fellas sitting up straight.
I am going to say out of men’s business with this one, because there is another essay in the chamber with loud saxophones getting in women’s business.
Cultural Critique on Black Masculinity and Accountability
00: Loyalty v. Accountability
Written by landix
Aye niggas, what’s more important to you? Loyalty or accountability? Do you want a nigga to kiss your ass, or do you want a nigga to keep you on your toes?? Think before you answer, it’ll follow you wherever you go.
Do you want to be an actual man, or do you want to be a yes man? A little bittie hoe?? Think. Carefully. In my experience, most men choose loyalty over accountability because it’s the illusioned easy path to go.
What Black men often fail to remember is that loyalty without accountability is every bit of cowardice. See me, I made my mind up a longgggg time ago. I was a very observant child, almost too observant for reasons why we may or may not address later. What I saw, mainly from the men in the world (thankfully not my environment), wasn’t worth shit at all. When I heard from Black women how men can’t do this, won’t do that, posture like this, take advantage like that, entitled like this, ungrateful like that...it was the most grotesque thing to hear and witness.
Especially considering I was raised to understand exactly what a woman is. Not a prize, not a possession, not a thing, but god. Everything comes from a woman. Even the thought that tries to tell you otherwise comes from a woman! I don’t understand you niggas because my father drilled into me how important my mother was and should be to me, because the same applied to his mother. He values my mother like no other, still till this day.
Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Have I made choices that caused harm? Absolutely. Am I still making those choices and thinking that way? Absolutely not. All of that set the foundation for how I cater to, care for, protect, value, and honor women—whether inside or outside of my family and village—to this day. I made some mistakes in my youth along the way, but today? My heart is full, and my eyes are clear.
Being raised like I was, with the knowledge that came with it…truly enrages me to see all this bitch ass niggary carrying on. Because who raised you niggas?!
Not the bitch ass niggas, we know who did or didn’t raise you. But the ones around the bitch ass niggas, who the fuck raised you?
To sit back and watch another man raise his voice, hand, or body toward a woman. To know a man is harming his wife in any manner and not doing ANYthing about it. Whether it be cheating, talking down to, or anything else of the sort. For not checking those snide ass remarks you know were wrong, but didn’t want to “rub your bro the wrong way.” Fuck you, your bro, and the wrong way. Have some nuts, my nigga, have a fucking spine, be accountable, be present…be a fucking man.
Not the bitch ass “alpha” man, or the emotionally stunted or unavailable man social media tries to push for whatever reason. Be the man your ancestors were, are, and also couldn’t be. We literally have the advantage of seeing what to do, what NOT to do, and you niggas would rather choose the latter than combining what worked with something new??
Disrespectfully, fuck you.
You should feel the same way, too, once you say what you’re doing out loud. Yeah, it sucks to admit, but at least you have the chance to stop it and pivot. If loyalty requires you to be silent in the face of disrespect or harm, what the actual FUCK is that loyalty really worth? Is that what you want to be loyal to?
As a man, never be blindly loyal like that. We are all too damn grown to still be hiding behind that. Have standards, have boundaries, and act accordingly when niggas cross them. Do you know who’s blindly loyal like that? Dogs. Are you a dog??? I don’t mean a big dawg for you purposeful, word-contorting niggas. I mean, are you a four-legged animal dependent on another human being for everything?? The answer is no, well, for some of you at least. So grow y’all asses the fuck up. Wake y’all asses up. If you feel attacked, hurt, or threatened by this, GOOD. Dig deeper and do something positive with your grown ass! Everybody, and I do mean everybody, is TIRED of waiting on you to get it.
If you feel activated after this, good. Make sure bitch ass niggas know to hide when you’re present. And those who are reading this very line, I want you to ask yourself and answer aloud—when it matters next, are you going to speak up, see what’s up, or sit there and shut up? It all depends on the situation, so remember…think before you answer.
Submissions will open in August, and our monthly writing salons too! Thank you for your grace during this season of unexpected burnout. Life got a hold of me and almost didn’t let go, but I fight back like my ancestors did! I personal believe that’s what makes us so special, we have the force of an army behind us.
Stay in the loop because THE André 3000 is dropping something special and gave Blackstack an exclusive access :) I promise I’m working even in my moments of silence! I love y’all real bad!
 | A guest post by
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"Loyalty without accountability is cowardice" is the whole piece in six words.
One thing that might make the ask land harder rather than softer. A lot of the silence you are describing is not calculated. It is a freeze. The moment arrives, the room goes quiet, and the body takes the option that costs nothing right this second. The loyalty story gets built afterward to explain what already happened.
That is not a defense. It is the opposite. Freeze is the default setting, which means nobody rises to the moment who has not already decided what he is going to say before the moment shows up. The men who speak up are not braver in the room. They rehearsed.
So the practical version of what you are asking might be: pick your sentence now. One line, ready to go. Something as plain as "that is not okay and you know it." Then it is actually available at the second when your body would rather have nothing available at all.