Lost Recipe: Manners
Over the years it seems as though we don't have the common ethic of manners anymore, or was that just a Southern thing?
Where are our damn manners?
Do we even say grace before we have a meal, giving thanks for our daily bread?
When you walk past another Black person, you giving the nod or nah?
How I was raised, when talking to elders, you say “yes/no ma’am” or “yes/no sir” to show respect. And when someone is much older, you put a Mrs./Ms. or Mr. in front of their name, usually the last name, not the first either.
When did we collectively stop showing baseline respect to our elders? I see and hear a lot of narratives online that elders are not simply due respect anymore because they do not give it. And while I can recall more times than I’d like to admit when an elder has disrespected me simply because they were older and felt entitled to speak on my life in harmful ways, cussing them out was never something that came to mind.
We have lost the plot.
How can we honor our ancestors but not our living elders?
Could the absence of manners be the cause for the lack of empathy within our community for one another? And does this mean that because we have lost the art of loving, we collectively settled for a world of misery?
I don’t have the answers to these questions, but I invite you to join the conversation with me in the comment section. Do you agree? Have we lost the recipe for basic manners?
The conversation initially started in the chat thread earlier in the week when I asked, what were some lost recipes we feel that we are losing? And I’m curious, what are some that you feel like we are losing in the Black community?
...yes, this is a soft launch to the open submissions theme.
The Recipe is Community
We carve it. We are all on this platform, even this publication to have it. The nostalgia of growing up with it and wondering where it went as we grow old. It’s safe to say many of us don’t realize this is our job to carry the tradition.
Niggas Can't Swim
He gave me a skill I could use forever instead of just one recipe. My father understood that if he didn’t instill skills that would be long-lasting, his legacy would be dead. Scrambling to preserve the notes scattered throughout our culture, we are all understanding how important it is now more than ever to leave the recipes for the ones who will contin…
Grandma's House Rules
She only had to tell me once, the way she said it so softly yet urgently, but almost whispering it to me. That was a moment I will never forget. One of those moments that felt woven into the fabric of Black culture, a lesson we all learned at some point without knowing the …
I think the lack of manners is connected to the lack of principles that people are taught. There is a population of people who were not taught as kids that actions have consequences and impact other people. So many live in a bubble of isolation that they cannot comprehend how their mentality and behaviors towards others creates consequences for themselves. Believing others are not worthy of the love,care and respect one feels entitled to creates a culture of hostility and cruelty.
I’ve been saying the lack of empathy is running rampant!