Week 8: Sunday Service Announcements
rain down on me...melondies from Heaven rain down on me!
Faith without works is dead. Have you ever heard that said in church before?
To have the faith of a mustard seed is all you need they say, but today I want to ask you, how are you keeping your faith?
While we all can attest to the power of going to church, I pray that we find that power and experience that healing through our virtual services, and if you ever want to share a word or testimony please don’t hesitate to claim your week here.
After last week the way we all connected through the Gospel I knew this week I wanted to come in with something LIVE so we could FEEL that feeling again. I remember in church growing up they used to call it the Holy Ghost Spirit being present. Watching this Tiny Desk with Kirk Franklin had me teared up so I wanted to share this with y’all for this Sunday Service Announcement while the ushers pass the collection plate.
God Likes to Laugh
Just wanna start out by saying, I am thankful to be in the presence of so many wonderful souls, sharing a part of myself.
As of lately, deep within my being, God has been at the forefront of most of my thoughts. That could either be a result of me having some kind of guilt about my faith or God is trying to get me to listen and trust in His plan. However, I do want to say that God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. Can I get an amen?
I find myself asking if I believe that statement or not because when I step back and look at the memories of how my life has been lived, I fear it appears that God has been everything but good…at least to me. As a twenty-something living in this day and age, I am driven by the fuel of survival to keep going and getting my shit together. It is rare that I am leaning onto the understanding of God’s plan. Being transparent, I would rather lean onto my own.
Can you guess where that has gotten me?
My mother tried her best to instill the virtue of patience in us and allowing God to order our steps. A life in the streets consumed her at times, but when it came time for church and holding space for God, she always showed up and showed up on time. As I got older, my mom became more vocal about her childhood and how many plans she had. Plans that were unfortunately put on the backburner for what seemed like forever because she was prematurely given the role of caregiver of her siblings and so many other family members. She had a plan for her life, and God told her that His plan was the one that was needed.
“Tell God the plans you have and watch just how hard he laughs at you.” I have heard many variations of that saying over the years and damn it, everyone was right. I think God takes me for a joke because life has been no laughing matter at all. Every time I set my foot out to do something that pleased me, God came down and smacked me with his good sandal. You know, the thick brown one with all the straps.
Too often while growing up, we have been told by society that we are in control of our destiny. That we are the masters of our universe and paths. If only we could sit and stare into a crystal ball and see our futures to know if that’s true or not. Believing that we are in control levels the playing field a little bit. It reminds us that God (or the Higher Power you believe in) will have the final say so. No matter how strong or weak we think we are, no matter what difficult cards we think we’ve been dealt, God already has the plan hashed out for us.
At my current age, I can humbly say that I have not had all the answers and have not made all of the correct choices like I should have. And that is why I know God has laughed at me until His sides split and tears rolled down his cheeks. There’s been one too many times where I’d sit up at night and tell God what I wanted to do and He’d simply be like “nah, do this instead”. Being hard headed didn’t save me either. If anything, I have learned that when our focus is on the plan God has set for us, we can free ourselves of the pressure that comes with life.
My time on Substack for example is the perfect way to show how God loves to laugh. I started this journey with the plan of mainly just posting short stories, poetry, and all things fiction. After an unplanned hiatus a month or two into building my platform, God sat my ass down and told me to focus. He pulled me by my locs and of course, I put up a fight (a terrible one) kicking and screaming. I came back to my craft with a different vision and a better understanding of why I chose this platform to show myself on. God laughed at my plan and told me that he had something bigger for me. Writing this piece and others I have published has been bigger. And it’s only going to get bigger from here.
The next time you sit and you decide to tell God what you want to do, make sure you have a laughing track ready to be played. Because while you might see one thing, God sees another and He will make sure you align yourself with the things He sees for you. Even if that means making you the butt of all His jokes.
LET ERRTHANG THAT HAS BREATH PRAISE DA LAWD!
Sister
had me caught up in da Holy Spirit last week with her Kirk Franklin praise and worship selections.Had me reminiscing on da highest levels of levelosity about my broughtupcy as a Deacon’s daughter in da Baptist Church.
We were banned from listening to anything secular in our household. I wrote about this in another article about my love affair with Hip Hop:
MY LIFE IN THE UNDERGROUND RAP RAILROAD
Hip hop was smuggled into my house like Negroe spirituals during slavery.
Meanwhile my Daddy — being the typical Jamaican lover of music — was persistent and consistent on finding da best of the best in Christian music.
He often took us to Christian music stores to spend hours digging through da crates to find da HOLY playlist for our weekends CLEANING and CHURCHING.
When I was really small — it was Billy & Sarah Gaines, Bebe & Cece Winans, The Winans, Etta James (her gospel album was littatious), Deniece Williams, and more that were on a no skip situation — cuz we were on dat vinyl and cassette tape life so nobody had time for that mess.
But what revolutionized the game was Kirk Franklin’s popularization of Contemporary Gospel that infused Hip-Hop, R&B with da SOUL of GOSPEL.
It freed a lot of Christian artists to offer us YOUTH an ALTERNATIVE to da traditional choir-based hymnal type of music we had grown up on.
Keep us in da CHUCH and not da streets.
Problem was — by 10 years old I was already silently slipping.
My INTERNAL and EXTERNAL struggle was not just out in the WORLD of racial injustice but in my HOME — cuz my Daddy decided to DILUTE my genetics with Caucasity Audacity.
And my Mama didn’t know how to raise da little lightskin Jamaican girl that had last popped out her pussy (they had six of us mixup children).
Her Narcissistic Personality Disorder with a strong dash of OCD seasoning (the only seasoning she consistently used) had compelled her to ISOLATE us in da house like a PRISON.
It was school, church, and whatever sports event we were playing (my Dad fought for that).
Occasionally I was allowed to go to my Jamaican Mummy’s house (the wife of my Dad’s best friend) to get my hair did the way I actually wanted or just temporarily escape and eat good Jamaican cooking from someone other than my Dad).
Music and books and writing was all I had in that house to keep me from going CRAZY.
Even the books I wanted to read had to be smuggled in.
I was also repeatedly shut down from opportunities to dance, sing, and act professionally for “religious reasons” so my purpose in life continually dwindled.
My SOUL was running on da FUMES of the music my Dad would help us buy.
One of the most pivotal groups of my youth came out in 1994: OUT OF EDEN.
More POTENT to me than Destiny’s Child.
Out of Eden was backed by another iconic Holy Hip Hop group: Grits from Goatee Records.
Their albums kept me on LIFE SUPPORT during my darkest times and seemingly HOPELESS life path.
My favourite OUT OF EDEN album from their discography is More Than You Know.
Aunty Cece Winans always stayed in my rotation as my Christian Whitney Houston.
That Alabaster Box Album had me weeping n praising at da altar ERRYTIME.
Yolanda Adams, Rachel Lampa, Jacquie Valesquez, Deleon — and the most soulfully jazzy Whyte gyal Crystal Lewis were solo artists that impacted my rotation for spiritual resuscitation.
I loved me some girl groups like Virtue, Mary Mary, Angie & Debbie Winans, Trin-I-Tee (they were my Christian SWV), and adoration N prayze.
The guy groups weren’t as dominant but I loved me some Take 6, Winans Phase 2 , and a likkle mixed bag group called Anointed— with solo mentions of Kevin Lavarr, John P. Kee, Bebe Winans and Smokie Norful.
Israel Houghton & The New Breed or Tye Tribbett’s situation didn’t really float my boat as much as what Kirk had going on with his choirs.
Personal taste — no hate.
The Holy Hip Hop didn’t really jump off till I was pretty much done my TEENS — but I appreciated da efforts from T-Bone, Gospel Gangstas, and Grits.
To me — the true GOSPEL in HIP HOP was da TRUTH being told about deez STREETS and our rapidly deteriorating conditions under da OPPRESSION DEPRESSION and REPRESSION of our PEOPLE as PRISONERS OF WAR.
Living in Toronto didn’t shield me from da travesties — it EMPHASIZED how DESENSITIZED our people can be when we feel safe to be a likkle more FREE.
But Canada is just Racism LITE.
In any case — you could find me at 15 years old smoking a BLUNT listening to Wu Tang Clan, Jay Z, DMX, Nas and KRS 1 on my way to choir practice.
We’d open up PORTALS with supreme harmonies and receive da CONVICTION I needed to keep me from committing felonies.
Then I’d ride da bus back to da hood listening to Kirk Franklin’s The Nu Nation Project singing Blessing In The Storm as I unlocked the door to our townhouse —placed between two major DRUG DEALERS in Toronto.
Let us all bow our heads to give THANKS for these blessed instruments of PRAISE — who poured out their GIFTS into deez SONGS so we all could feel SAVED in deez STREETS.
Amen.
BLESSED & BROKEN (A TESTIMONY)
I know God be frustrated with me… but my grandmother loved me down, and so I just know she stays in His ear.
If you don’t mind - I think I’ll share a bit of my testimony as Lashun Pace’s Act Like You Know plays in the background.
I’m stubborn. I like to sprinkle my dialogue with a few curse colorful words, I could slay a dragon with my tongue alone… and yet, He stays having my back.
You see… I shouldn’t be here.
To put it mildly - years ago, depression almost won.
Being brought up in the church and going to Christian-based schools, the answer to depression was always to “pray it away.”
…and let’s not get into the whole “what you got to be sad for?” narrative from the elders. It was like they couldn’t grasp that you could be blessed and broken at the same time.
So, that’s how I navigated the world: blessed and broken.
I learned very early how to mask my inner turmoil. Think The Tracks of My Tears Smokey Robinson style. Outside, my smile was brighter than the sun, while on the inside, I was holding on to dear life with a paperclip, cheap thread, and the faith of a mustard seed.
Even when blessings came, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being unworthy. I imagined that there was someone out there who could experience the joy and happiness these moments offered without the weight of sadness holding them back. I kept thinking that if I were more whole, I could celebrate life’s wins properly.
…but then years passed, and no matter how much meds I took or conformed to be palatable - I remained broken.
It was then I realized I would always be the girl with the bad brain… and that shattered my world. The dissonance between my blessings and my inner turmoil became a heavy burden. I could no longer maintain this dual existence, so I pulled away from my trajectory (Public Relations and Journalism) because the sheer thought of always presenting felt exhausting. But at the same time - who was I without my words? Without my creativity? With my spark? What do I do now?
Well, my friends, I’m here to let you know that I’m walking in God’s plan of future and hope.
On Friday, I officially launched my business. In September, I’ll be hosting my first emotional well-being workshop in partnership with a Therapy practice, and Substack has allowed me to reconnect with my voice.
I shared this small piece of my testimony because many of us let our broken pieces disqualify us from God's plans for us. He never asked us to come to Him whole or flawless—He simply asks that we come as we are.
Our brokenness doesn’t exclude us from His plans; His light often shines the brightest through our cracks and scars. Embracing our true selves allows us to be whole.
…and so I end this with a challenge: have you confronted the notion that perhaps these blessings weren’t meant to be reserved for those who appeared “whole” but were also for those of us who, despite our struggles, could find moments of joy and beauty amidst the chaos?
Because maybe, just maybe, you were meant to be blessed and broken.
Song Inspo:
Prayer Hotline
Now let us pray.
I pray you find peace today.
I pray you find forgiveness within your heart today.
I pray you give yourself compassion.
I pray you celebrate all your wins this week, big or small.
I pray you look within when you need love.
I pray you know when things get rough God got you.
I pray you find the beauty in life.
I pray you keep going.
I pray you prioritize yourself.
I pray you see that you are deserving of all you desire.
I pray you understand it’s already yours.
I pray you claim it.
Amen.
Paid Subscriber Anniversary
A special thank you to
, , , and for TWO months of being a paid subscriber. And also happy two months to who upgraded from a paid subscriber to a Founding Member, be on the lookout for the interview we did as she explains why she became a Founding Member and what that means to her!Here’s what some have shared as to why they became a paid subscriber.
I would like to see my subscription support creative content within this community that separates it from the rest of Substack and that honestly promotes Black culture.
: love that Blackstack is only for US (aka FUBU). We can all benefit from each other's help and support that doesn't have to be limited to just writing.I'm a painter and microfiction writer and my reasons for being on Substack is to bring the artworld to the platform. I believe in community building and want to highlight not just my work, but the work of others. Simply sharing another artist's work on a platform like Substack helps them to gain more exposure to a wider audience.
But of course I want to contribute and keep it black for Blackstack.🖤🤎
happy birthday to you August babies
I saw this Note that asa riah and Katie Mack had going about August babies RISE, and it was too good not to use for the kickoff for the birthday cookout newsletter!
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Thank you Ladies for your talents and pen 🖊️!! I always look forward to SSA and all your words were received! Amen 🙏🏾
Whoo! Jamiya hit the high notes with this one.